Colonel Robert Neville ‘Celebrates the Diversity’ of his 200th…Post!

Colonel Neville celebrates with good cheer, another
personal milestone at his swingin’ and happening pad!
“Why the Hell can’t you leave me alone?!”

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up”. -Lily Tomlin

Aunty Doris: “Happy 200th post Colonel! And look, we’ve banded tugetha’ and got ya a wee packet a’ sweeties! And uh left most a’ the good wunz fer ya ta!”.

Colonel Neville: “Oh, gee Aunty. I don’t know what to say, except get out”.

Aunty Doris: “Och, ya were ulwayz a sentimental soul even as a child card sharp”.

Colonel Neville: “Yes, clearing up at retirement homes, often brought a tear to my innocent little eyes. I think it was either the stench or the curtains. But who can tell in these crazy times of random political correctness? I certainly can’t”.

It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull”. -H.L Mencken

But I digress, digest and divest. Ok, I re-posted some bogus requests of the week, to make up the number’s, and thus win the coveted boiled sweets award. But they were all updated and improved to make them almost readable. Several readers asked “Who are you?” and “When do I get my money?” and “Is your hair dry, lifeless and hard to manage?”

“So what’s it like to be Colonel Neville?” you may ask, but obviously don’t. Well, it’s a non-stop roller coaster ride of how can I say? Er, tedium. And yet this has never stopped me writing about it. For instance, to celebrate this momentous event, I had a blood test, which often makes me feel quite faint. Do they really need seven litres?

Colonel Neville: “If I die, I want a Mariachi band at my funeral, but not the unsophisticated kind, more with an Oscar Peterson feel, than a combine harvester out of control in a tin can factory”.

Nurse Le Strange: “Mr Colonel, don’t worry. I’m not listening and I’m not really a nurse!”

Colonel Neville: “It’s getting dark and I think I can see my Father in law…”

Nurse Le Strange: “That’s because it’s 7PM and the door is open to the waiting room”.

The wife is very supportive and excited about the 200th post too, and we had a relaxing coffee in the sun to mark the occasion. As wives do, she offered words of encouragement. “I don’t care about your stupid 200th post!…” Continue Reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>