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I Want Free Stuff

November 5, 2008 by Orlando  
Filed under News and Opinion

Now that Barack Obama will serve as president I want to put my order in for free stuff! He is promising lots of goodies at the expense of the wealthy. Consequently, I think it is time I provide my list of goodies to Lord Obama before he implements his wealth redistribution campaign. I want to be in on the ground floor. So, Lord Obama Most Merciful and Giving, here is my goodies list:

  1. A new luxury car: I don’t want to pay for it, the maintenance, or the gas.
  2. No more mortgage: I want the government to pay for my mortgage.
  3. LCD TV in every room: Don’t forget the free high definition cable or satellite service.
  4. Unlimited expense account: I want to spend without worry (just like the super rich).
  5. Personal servant: I want a butler and maid to clean after me. I hate mopping floors.

OK, this will be my starter list Lord Obama, but understand that I do expect more than this down the road. In fact, I should be put at the front of the list. I’m a minority–Conservative and Hispanic. That entitles me to free stuff first!

 

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Comments

2 Responses to “I Want Free Stuff”
  1. J.E.B. Stuart says:
    November 5, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Sorry, Orlando, but you will have to get in line; I am WAY more of a minority than you, and therefore qualify for government assistance before you: I am male, white, and employed.

    In addition to the items you listed, I require, for health reasons, to retire immediately and have the rich people support me in the style to which I deserve to become accustomed.

    By the way, Lord Obama, please arrange direct deposit with my bank – I really don’t have time to endorse checks and run them to the bank. THanks.

    Best Regards,

    J.E.B. Stuart

    Reply
  2. Orlando Orlando says:
    November 6, 2008 at 1:44 am

    JEB Stuart… You are a white working male. You poor bastard. I’m so sorry. You are far more deserving to cut in line for the free stuff.

    Reply

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