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Australian School Answering Machine (Updated with Transcript)
September 2, 2009 by TXPoet
Filed under For Your Entertainment
Someone in Australia has a clue and a sense of humour. Click Here to Listen
Ring!
Hello!
You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection.
- To lie about why your child is absent, press 1
- To make excuses for why your child did not do his homework, press 2
- To complain about what we do, press 3
- To swear at staff members, press 4
- To ask why you didn’t get information (that has already been enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers that have been mailed to you), press 5
- If you want us to raise your child, press 6
- If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone, press 7
- To request another teacher (for the third time this year), press 8
- To complain about bus transportation, press 9
- To complain about school lunches, press 0
If you realize this is the real world, and your child must be accountable and responsible for his or her own behavior, classwork, and homework, and that it’s NOT the teacher’s fault for your child’s lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!
If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it. Thank you for your interest in public education.
Ghost Ranger, Tex’s first novel, is now available on Lulu and Amazon.
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Wonderful! I wonder if the person who did this kept his or her job.
I was a former public elementary school substitute teacher (and a darn good one whom teachers requested because I was actually a trained educator who followed their lesson plans). I was asked NOT to return to a school for daring to assign as homework the class work the kids neglected to do because they goofed off all day when I was there (5th graders). I gave them the option of completing their day’s assignment or taking it home to complete. The next day I was called into the Principal’s office and informed that they had been receiving phone calls – and some visits – from irate parents all morning, because I DARED to assign homework for their children right before the Christmas holidays! After all, their children had other more pressing obligations…dance recitals, going to see the Festival of Trees, etc. And we wonder what’s wrong with our school system?
Of course it’s not real…very funny, but certainly was never really on an answering machine. There was an American version of the same joke:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/palisades.asp
G’day from a bit south and inland from Maroochydore. This is an old USonian hoax with the last line added and attributed to an Australian school. If they’d said it was Ipswich it might have been believable.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maroochydore_State_High_School
Always check such things against Snopes
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/palisades.asp
Please keep voting for wingnuts and flat earthers, it is the only chance Australia has to be a Superpower.