Obama’s Five Easy Pieces.
April 3, 2009 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
Barry Hussein Obama is bound to leave his hordes of incurious, wilfully ignorant, clueless and naïve lovers at the gas station of their phony and embarrassing leftard daydreams. Gotta Mister! But Bobby, sorry Barry, has a talent for playing just the right kind of mesmerising toon for the kind of boobs who know they’re superior to say, you and I. The song remains insane and sadly it’s a love that can never be. For narcissism, cigarettes, power, radical ideology via using anybody and other peoples money, are Barry’s true loves.
Via filmsite org:
“Five Easy Pieces (1970) is a moody, thoughtful character study of an alienated, misfit drifter and drop-out, Robert Eroica Dupea [Jack Nicholson].
At his family’s home, he is accused of being incapable of real feelings:
Catherine: “You’re a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something – how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?”
“He [Robert] lives with an ignorant, dim-witted but kind-hearted waitress girlfriend Rayette Dipesto [Karen Black] – an aspiring [and awful] country music singer. She constantly chatters to him, aggravating him: “If you wouldn’t open your mouth, everything would be just fine.” She pathetically clings to him and smothers him with love although he is unfaithful and not committed to her:
Rayette: “I’ll go out with you, or I’ll stay in with you, or I’ll do anything that you like for me to do, if you tell me that you love me”.
He delivers a painful, one-sided confession to his dying, paralyzed father in a wheelchair in the cold outdoors, in the film’s most powerful scene. He apologizes for his abandonment of his family and talent, for giving up on his responsibilities, and for not living up to his father’s high ideals, breaking down in tears mid-speech:
“I don’t know if you’d be particularly interested in hearing anything about me. My life, I mean… Most of it doesn’t add up to much… that I could relate as a way of life that you’d approve of…I’d like to be able to tell you why, but I don’t really…I mean, I move around a lot because things tend to get bad when I stay. And I’m looking…for auspicious beginnings, I guess…
I’m trying to, you know, imagine your half of this conversation…My feeling is, that if you could talk, we probably wouldn’t be talking. That’s pretty much how it got to be before… I left…Are you all right? I don’t know what to say…Tita suggested that we try to…I don’t know.
I think that she…seems to feel we’ve got…some understanding to reach…She totally denies the fact that we were never that comfortable with each other to begin with…The best that I can do, is apologize. We both know that I was never really that good at it, anyway…”
He finally bows his head, sighs, and admits with sorrow, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
As he returns home with Rayette, he ignores her observation: “There isn’t anybody gonna look after you AND love you, as good as I do.”
In the bleak final sequence, he abandons her in a Gulf gas station without explanation, leaving her with his wallet and car, while he catches a lift from a northbound lumber truck toward Canada and freedom. The driver promises they will travel to an even colder climate and he could borrow a jacket: “Where we’re goin’, it’s gonna get colder than hell.” He responds: “Nah, it’s okay. I’m fine. Fine. I’m fine.” Continue reading at Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses For Dinner…
I had a spare afternoon, so I called up the laughable National Security Hotline and ASIO.
March 13, 2009 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
Pictured are three of the gals I spoke to at the National Security Hotline and ASIO, and the P.A for the Attorney General. They’re in deep conference about who these mysterious “terrorists” could be. And getting their nails done. “Terrorists? Whatever! Like, der!”
Dear sports, no, really. I did call the whip crack smart super security portals and departments in charge of our er, security against our mortal enemy, [as yet un-named].
Dig my recent Fisk on the real life parody that is the National Security website. Enjoy your tax dollars and naive trust in our boob laden authorities at work. But then, they do allow hijab wearing Muslims to er, “man” the x-ray and security pantomime at our airports. I kid you not.
By “whip crack smart”, I mean a beyond belief parody of PC’ism, the disingenuous, the incompetent, the stupid and the skirting of treason by manipulating and omitting harsh facts that put Australia and its people at grave and serious risk. And oh yes, threatening the average citizen with bankrupt laws, if they dare to not play the game and point out the bleeding obvious to the overpaid and unreachable.
So oatmeal sharp really. In short, our major security services are apparently some kind of absurd and profoundly disturbing joke. A gravediggers joke. So keep laughing if you can, or call ASIO. Be polite and expect nothing, and you’ll never be dissappointed. The National Security Hotline is waiting for your call, unless it’s lunch. Ask for Sir Arthur Streebgreebling. No, not really but you may as well be asking for a pizza delivery or that great new melon peeler you saw advertised.
I said to the little dears that I had hoped that ASIO was better than their reputation, but my hopes were sadly crushed and without ceremony.
Now nowhere on the NS website do they mention who the terrorists are, either by name, profile, what drives them, where they are likely to be from, what their goals are and so on ad nauseum.
Now, they were nice enough people for what nice is worth, which ain’t much. Though they were well, snooty, rather unnatural and not straight speaking whatsoever and all but useless. And all but one hung up on me when I asked the utterly basic question “Can you tell me who these terrorists are?”
The Attorney Generals Personal Assistant[!] said and I quote as best I can remember, “I can’t do that”. Why not exactly? Then resign, dear boob.
Colonel Neville: “So you’re from National Security and you cannot tell me who these terrorists are but you expect the average citizen to identify them for you and let you know?”
PA: “I’m not prepared to continue this conversation…” [How convenient and ridiculous.]
Colonel Neville: “Then that makes you incompetent or dishonest”.
Sound of hung up phone. “Brrrrrrr”. Oooh, sooooo chilly!” Continue reading at Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses For Dinner.
The Obama Mass Dissonance Effect.
March 10, 2009 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
“Nothing human is foreign to me”. Terence.
Now here’s a funny thing. Barry Hussein Sotuoro Barack Obama has NOTHING to do with hope and change by any definition. Everything he is, has said, done and believes in is as old as people and hey, [Left] Liberal Fascism. It’s as timeless as Logical Fallacy and Cognitive Dissonance. The same applies to his global mass of pop fan drones.
Except for his crony beneficiaries, all Obama lovers have two things in common: they know NOTHING about Barry Obama and they don’t WANT to know anything.
The terrible truth is that nothing positive about Obama is true. Even the lies are unoriginal.
Here’s a great list of classic mental patterns with this caveat. The chap that put this logic reference list together appears to deal from a narrow Pavlovian range of references, and thus suffers from Logical Fallacy and Cognitive Dissonance himself! He may just be a er, Leftard?
“Oh, BushHitler! Here boy!”
No really. As far as I’ve seen, his memes are bog-standard liberal conceits to Marxist product sodden and atheistic ones. I thought hey, using Occam’s Razor, he’s gotta compare “mass deception”, “wishful thinking” or the “Barnum Effect” at least to the uber-scam and super gravy train fraud of global warming. [GW merely equals global socialism.] But sadly no, he doesn’t. Go figure.
It appears that many similar academics, like technicians working in infectious disease but without gloves and a mask, are almost by default infected by their own environment and subject. Thus content still trumps form.
Funny, innit? And they pay these kinds of fatally flawed fellows?” Continue reading at Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses For Dinner. >>
The Great Dutchman Geert Wilders Slams Euroweenie Dhimmi Suicide.
January 6, 2009 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under zTab

Geert Wilders Leader of the Partij Voor Vrijheid and a member of the Dutch Parliament, is a very rare European man. Geert has balls, a backbone, a brain, pride and an adult sense of history via research and analytical skills. Geert believes in himself, his culture, its achievements, the hard won freedoms and effective values of capitalist democracy etc. Geert loves America and is not an anti-Semite. Geert presents the harsh empirical avalanche of facts regarding Islam. Thus Geert Wilders is largely a man alone in the doomed EU, which doesn’t stand for European Union at all, but for Eunuchs Unconscious.
He’s not a Socialist boob, nor a Eurojerk elitist eternally jealous of American power and action. He’s not a Eurabian dhimmi ruling class imbecile, chattering away forever and all the way to the firing squad and beheading.
Nor is Geert the brainless and ignorant Pavlovian anti-American twerp that infests virtually every level of the Euro trash pile. Europe has a powerful economy per se, but is pathetically dependent on the innovation, guts, talent and markets of America and elsewhere. And Europeans don’t believe in nor do they defend, their own faded values against anyone, anywhere, anyhow, anymore.
The Euroweenie sees this toleration for the intolerance of Islam and the subsequent continent-wide sinking into a mire of gloom, as a self-evident achievement. Only the dopes of a dimwit dystopia would see steady social decay and a feeble overreach, as a poke in the eye to the massive power of America.
The EU’s lack of real professional firepower goes in hand in hand with their endless mealy mouthed and preposterous allegedly big talk and no action.
Ironically, rather like the Islamists who are bearing down on them, but much more effectively than the EUnuch’s of Poot, the mass murdering Islamic Nemesis carry out their nihilistic threats to the letter.
In Euro off the rails land, MUSLIM TERROR ALWAYS PAYS. Handsomely. It’s even subsidised.
Even with the now free and ex-Communist, naturally pro-American and freedom valuing Eastern states, most of Europe has no military power worth a damn, with all the reach of a stale croissant.
As Centurion Marcus Steynus said, the basic ability to defend the security of the people is THE definition of a mature and effective state. Not ONE European country can do this. Not even England can mount a serious effort virtually beyond its coastline and thus internationally. Britain is gutted by decades of Socialist Marxist indoctrination, Islamisation, censorship, disarmament of the people and is therefore old boy, doomed.
On Parade! Muslim Hamas Freak Psychopaths and Marxist Leftard Hamass Lickers Global Jew Hating Interfaith Dialogue Number 117,568!
January 5, 2009 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
In Sweden and Norway, around 75% of rapes against white women, children and others are committed by Muslims. “According to Swedish Radio on Tuesday, statistics from Sweden’s National Council for Crime Prevention show that the number of reported rapes against children is on the rise.
The figures have nearly doubled in the last ten years: 467 rapes against children under the age of 15 were reported in 2004 compared with 258 in 1995. Legal proceedings continue this week in a case involving a 13 year old girl from Motala who was said to have been subjected to a group rape by four men. (Note: These four men were Kurdish Muslims, who raped the girl for hours and even took photos of doing so)”. Freerepublic.
Colonel Neville: But first the good news…Israeli is hammering Hamass! Go IDF! [The core of this post came from Phyllis Chessler via the great US site Forthardknox com.]
Now here’s the thang. The Jewish people and Israel owe the world nothing. Not a single apology or reason. Zero. The world owes the Jewish people and Israel everything. The Jews are taking first what is coming to us all eventually. In fact, much of it is already here.
Now dig this. Hundreds of as per usual Muslim pro-Hamass freaks and drones scream their Jihad and Jew hatred as only a victim and slave of Islam can, but in Fort Lauderdale AND London AND terrifyingly in Melbourne, Sydney etc, etc! Beyond fucking belief, but it happens all the time. Oh, yes it does for those without their head inside the bowels of the MSM et al.
This week over 2,000 Muslim geeks gathered in Sydney calling for death to Israel and today in Melbourne. I wish I knew Hamass Local was swingin’ down from the trees, I would have gone and made some witty bon mots. Ah, the wacko religion of peace or else, robot army of the dead are getting a nice comeuppence. Bravo and encore…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>
The Beyond Belief and Dangerous PC Pantomime of the Australian National Security Site.
January 2, 2009 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
The senior staff of the Australian National Security website denying the empirical connection between terrorism and Islam. Quite. The Four Stages Of Islamic Treachery.
Beslan was the largest mass literal kidnapping in history ending in around 375 murders, 176 of them children who were assaulted, raped, forced to watch humiliations, torture, murders, rapes and mutilations. [Gatewaypundit.] But don’t worry love, according to the Australian National Security website it’s nothing to do with Muslims or Islam! So good news, eh? And if you suggest otherwise you’ll be arrested. We must after all, be polite to Islam Murder Inc.
“Well I won’t back down, no I won’t back down.
You could stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won’t back down”.Tom Petty.
Happy New Year sports!
Ah, mere rhetoric. The ONLY religion that can be relentlessly and empirically connected to terrorism and indeed IS terrorism, [as it was founded by a terrorist] is called Islam. Almost the entire sane and non-PC boob world knows that Islam is a threat. A death threat.
“I am made triumphant through terror”. Mohammad.
Try this simple test or better still, don’t.
Go to a public place and shout out “Hare Krishna!” or “Hallelujah! Jesus be praised!” or “Ching ni ‘n qui ler!” [Happy New Year in Mandarin!] and see the reaction. People will either ignore you, look around amused, bemused, embarrassed or maybe just take the piss.
Now shout out “Allah Akbar!” and watch everyone freeze, jerk, scramble, duck and try to hide anywhere, all with their eyes wide open while screaming and running like Hell.
The Australian National Security website is a terrifying semi- joke, non? Non. Nope, merely a politically correct, ineffectual and incompetent disgrace. The apparent jerks who put NS together would fail TV detective school. Sherlock Holmes would kick their ass!
“We deal only from the facts Watson. The game is afoot!”
Colombo would cock his one good eye and say “That’s great, but er, just one more thing if I may Mr Garran…”
Sir Garran: “Yes? What is it now, Detective?”
Colombo: “I know you said not to and that there was no problem with er, religion, and I believe you, honestly I do. But somehow I just can’t help thinking about Islam and that it’s somehow connected to this terrorism thing. It just doesn’t add up when you say it’s not”…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>
Three masterpieces of insight: zombietime on Ayers, Theodore’s World on Obama, Odinga, al Bakri, and the Sheila Variations on 9/11 via PBS fraud.
December 29, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
The Greatest Masterpiece of all time. (Right)
Dear sports, I come upon so many wonderful pieces and these are just three. So dig them.Curious innit? But I do not feel the magic of Obama. Feel the magic I do not. I’m sorry, but I despise “Him”. In fact I’m rather naturally repulsed by Barry Barack Hussein Soetoro Obama. [Link to Barry's Year of Living Innocently in Indonesia.]
Excerpt from comment section: “Barry Sotero’s (Obama) schoolmate at Besuki Primary School Rony Amiris, [now the manager of the Bank Mandiri] remember’s young Barry as enjoying playing football and marbles and of being a very devout Muslim.
Amir said “Barry was previously quite religious in Islam. His birth father, Barack Hussein Obama was a Muslim economist from Kenya … all of the relatives of Barry’s father were very devout Muslims”…Rony extrapolates further, that Obama at one point had to change his religion if he ever intended later to run for the office of President of the United States because America would never elect a Muslim..”
Yes, that’s it. On a good day, Bazza with his mindless hordes and flunkies merely sicken me. Ah, but Obama’s suits! Ya gotta vote for superior tailoring?!
“Never mind the qualty…admire the width!”
Ah, but first, today I heard on PBS, a virtual parody discussion as you do. Some sandal wearing guy was razzing about er, “is the Internet important to news?” Not regarding the MSM idea of “news”. No, not at all. But in reality, yes.
Ball free boy gave some of his ideas of serious and reliable sources for whatever, out of the vast and superior choices available on the Net. They were and I kid you not according to Captain Taxpayer Funded, the New York Times, CNN and ah, wait for it…the utterly ridiculous Huffington Post.
Said Libtooter said spoke of how a non-journo that went un-announced backstage to interview Obama Wan Kenobi would not meet the hahahahahaha, “New York Times standards of transparency”. No, really. And no laugh track!
Another thang was an alleged German military man saying how they picked up some Somali pirates and had to let them go cos’ they er, “hadn’t threatened anyone or anything German!”
This is how neutered governments and clueless, unaccountable and incompetent media er, “works”.
In this spirit, here’s the mind twisting facts on Bill Ayers own empirically documented record, Obama and Odinga and 9/11 as presented by the bankrupt PBS…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>
Another Aussie multi-culti success story! Crude, criminal, illierate, pro-jihad, for children Muslim creep is called, wait for it…Mohammad!
December 29, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion

Via Aussie-Muslims: “The Sheikh recalled: ‘I don’t believe in unclear concepts. Everything divine must be clear”. The Non-Fuzzy Sheik Feiz dreams of an Australian Islamic madhouse state to be. Dream on wacko boy and wake up to a brand new bomb blast. And with the help of our largely retarded, phony, incompetent media and authorities, Islamic nightmare’s really can come true for everyone.
So here he is! One of the hardest working Muslim misfit bogan’s, closet rapist’s and killer’s by proxy loons in Sydney! It’s the Sheik of shit, the Sultan of Taquiyaa, that Imam of Illiteracy, that Cleric of Perversity, that Muslim King of Child Abuse, it’s Sheeeeeeeeeeik Feeeeeeiz Moooooooohaaaaamad! You miserable, dysfunctional, boring, mass produced bastard…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>
Real life is relentlessly Conservative. Fantasy is relentlessly Left Liberal and Radical.
December 26, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
Abraham Lincoln, the little known Conservative Republican and his explicitly correct summation of much of the MSM, academia, Hollywood, celebrity, the Democratic Party and the British and Australian Labour Party’s et al ad nauseum. “The greatest dangers to liberty,” wrote Justice Brandeis, “lurk in the insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding.”
My very dear readers, Colonel Neville wishes you ALL a very, very Merry Christmas season and a Happy New Year! Hey, let’s all download Mark Steyn’s Christmas song Marshmallow World! It’s a hoot.
Man, Mark Steyn is more fun and good value than sorting through an overstuffed Christmas stocking at 5:AM, wearing your new Batman pajamas, smoking a cigar and finding that the latest Atlantic Monthly you got, contains a very substantial article by P.J O’Rourke. [Atlantic link is Grove Atlantic.]
“Social justice, in the catechism of the socialist religion, is no more than an exertion of raw power to force people to conform to what liberal-progressives believe conditions ought to be.” Thomas E. Brewton.
Conservative values are empirical, proven, timeless, essential and for real human beings as they are and not for theoretical and entirely imaginary people. The values of Conservatism are precisely what have made us prosperous and free. Plus we bathe more regularly.
These are the values that even Left Liberals and Radical’s actually live by day by day, for if they didn’t, they would be financially bankrupt, which would match their current intellectual and moral bankruptcy.
“Buddy can you spare an expanded government aparatus?”
In fact the more morally and intellectually bankrupt a Left Liberal is, the more fabulously rich they usually are.
“The people will believe what the media tells them they believe”. George Orwell.
Their non-values and naturally the radical too, are invariably fantasy hobby’s supported by the pragmatism of factual Conservatism. Like a donkey with legs of pastry, Liberalism can’t support itself, thus the endless calls on more government, their favourite source of financial aid.
Lisa to Grandpa Simpson: “Didn’t you wonder why you were getting checks for not doing anything?”
Grandpa: “I thought it was because the Democrats were back in power”
“To ERR is human, to FORGIVE divine. HOWEVER, neither is Marine Corps Policy.”
Dig this. The utter hypocrisy and venal fraud of Hollywood and the Super Phony Al Gore, are ENTIRELY elevated, supported by, and made rich through CAPITALISM and the free market etc, both basic Conservative ideas. The dominance of Left Libby junk scams is made possible by their relentless manipulation, indoctrination and control freakery via the media, education and entertainment etc. THESE are actual Left Liberal er, “ideas” on the ground.
By default, the same Lib and Rad boobs have trouble possessing any true values at all, as everything they profess to er, believe in, is by definition “up for grabs”, and are always allegedly going to be a success in a future that never seems to arrive…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>
The Yuri Bezmenov Communist Infiltration and Indoctrination Reality Show 1972
December 23, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
“We cannot expect the Americans to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving Americans small doses of socialism until they suddenly awake to find they have Communism.” Soviet Leader Nikita Khrushchev, 1959.
[Link to this vid of Yuri telling it like it was and is. Now it's much, much worse, sports.]
Now dig this. Here’s another essential piece of insight into our current predicament regards PC Left Liberalism, radical Marxist and Islamic treason, indoctrination and infiltration. It’s easy, via the closing down of empirical dissent and then the establishment of Islam and Marxist Murder Inc in a once free West. We’re on a freeway to our own security and cultural suicide, sports.
[Here's the Four Stages Of Islamic Infiltration too.]
Now this Yuri Bezmenov vid is 26 years old! And all of it has either come to pass or is well on the way. Time is a great method of sorting fact from fantasy and Yuri holds up entirely as the horrifying truth.
YOU ARE HERE.
The thing about EVERY non-idea absurdity as a serious and usually enforced PC proposal, is that you just have to wait long enough for any Left Liberal plan to be totally discredited. But by that time, they have a whole new pile of steaming and stinking abstractions entirely in the realm of the unprovable and inescapable. That’s what big government is for. A Logan’s Run for everyone…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>
Baz Lurhman graciously blames the audience and critics for his bad movie.
December 23, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
The unbearable lot of many an ACTUAL Koori woman and thus not suitable as a government backed tourism movie. Apparently slashed with a broken beer bottle by a male Koori, her dilemma lacks the required evil white element to ever generate even the slightest interest among the urban Left. Here’s an idea for Baz and the Guv. Make a well written film instead of a political pamphlet, and that is also entertaining and relates to people! Could work.
As per usual in Australia, the creamy elites of our largely taxpayer funded mediocre arts like Bazza the clown, say that the real problem is not their arrogant lack of talent, skill, intelligence, or having little or nothing to say whatsoever. And it’s not because Baz lacks a SINGLE coherent idea that prevents the artiste known as Baz, and his oddly forgettable rubbish from being a massive and well deserved success.
Nope, it’s the AUDIENCE. They are to blame. Oh yes, and the critics. Blah blah, woof woof.
Riiiight. Sure it is. So his beautifully shot, very appealing in parts and sadly often bullshit tripe reel, is entirely the fault of the observer and having observed how crap it is, they have moved on. Oh, how unfair and ungrateful the stupid masses are! I may be anonymous but you ain’t getting my $14, Baz old chum!
Look, as I said to a pal of mine, “Baz the boob still deserves credit for the massive effort required to make even a dodgy film. So in spite of however acceptable his peculiar and “right on!” bigotry, kudos for him. He’s made more films than I have evn if he only made one”.
The Monkey House of Saud wants to kill you mama.
December 21, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
Every week in the Sh_t House of Saud, you can bring the kids to see the public beheading. No, really. And gee, I wonder why Muslims cut off people’s heads so much? To cut down on the competition. Islam is THE ideology for the brainless.
Sura 1 15:3. “Now go, attack the Israelites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them, put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle, sheep, camels and donkeys”.
“I am made triumphant through terror”. Mohammad.
An old one but a good one from the great and empirical courage of Wafa Sultan.
I dedicate this shabby post once again, to four very hip and empirical books that anyone who is sane, civilised and trustworthy should read. That’s if you want to continue to live and our children to stay alive and free in a prosperous West. Sounds peachy.
I initially sourced this info from Why They Hate by Brigitte Gabriel. It’s an essential book really. The fact that few in government with the responsibility of er, understanding reality will have read it or anything similar is well, a real hoot.
The next on the list titled “Read this now you miserable beauracrat bastard!” is While Europe Slept by Bruce Bawer, who explains in startling detail, the useless, venal, spineless, suicidal, self-loathing Socialist imbecility of the average spoiled Euroweenie…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville >>
Night Swallows West.
December 16, 2008 by Colonel Robert Neville
Filed under News and Opinion
“As Peeps vehicle climbed onto the elevated roadway, the sun reflected in shooting flashes off the lines of the skyscrapers on either side. On nights that had no moonlight, even these cold, great and empty forms disappeared into the vast ink”.
Dear sports, this is my feeble and rather amateur attempt at the first part of a short story that I’ll er, publish entirely online. You know where to send the briefcase of cash! I first posted this on Sunday 23 September 2007. I really liked Richard Matheson’s freaky and eerie classic, I Am Legend. Though I thought the vampire angle was a bit naff, while disturbing and beautifully well done. I just can’t believe in ‘em at all.
In fact, I often find horror fantasy neither scary nor fantastic. More a neat allegory, or a preposterous and poor second to the harsh and disturbing facts of er, our current reality. No, really. And I found the I Am Legend film a disappointing, utterly unconvincing and shallow CGI mistaken bore. But what do I know?
Now I thought that the idea of being the poor last bastard on earth and why, would be frightening enough and without the vamps. But what do I know? I hope you get a laugh out of it.
Chapter 1. A Figure On The Landscape.
A light breeze snaked past the open doors of a balcony and through the space between two heavy curtains, pushing them slightly inwards. There was almost no sound from outside and nothing passed within as the cool air drifted softly over the body of Sam Peeps, as he lay asleep in the half-light of the room. The sound of his own voice brought him to a kind of semi-consciousness, the partially shouted words unfolding rapidly in the shadows. With a wired shot, he sat up as his arms pushed out straight from his sides and pressed hard into the bed.
“There is no such thing as the Devil!”, he said.
“Oh Christ. Day or night?” he wondered vaguely for a moment before falling back into torpor. Several phrases fell from his half opened mouth like a kind of catechism. “All failure is a lack of concentration. God never interferes in our lives. Energy can only go in one direction at a time”, he said in a continuous mumble.
“You’re not listening, are you?! Never did. I tried to…save you”, he growled to no one. “It’s all a little hey, hey…late, sport. Yes, endurance”.
Flattening out on the damp sheets with a deep exhalation, Peeps knew these words to be so and that they were a test though difficult to apply. He recalled offering long ago in explanation to someone he could not remember, in understanding the true meaning of the first, you achieve the simplicity of the second and reveal the clarity of the third. The fourth provides the strength and flexibility to continue. Now as he tried to concentrate, he knew that he was alone…Continue reading on Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner >>



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