FHK would like to give a special thanks to Orlando, and Ron Goodwyne for keeping the project on track during the recent ice storms and power outages which affected some of our staff. We would also like to thank authors 1389, Victor Chabala, and Nikitas for continuing to submit research and articles during this challenging time. Thankfully, it seems this week we’re back “on,” and would like to pass on this little bit of information for future reference. Sometimes when there is a disaster happens, we mean well, but are not exactly sure what to say, or how to act. So, here are a few guidelines to follow.

(original author unknown)

1. All clothing rules such as matching and ironing are null and void during a power outage and it is extremely rude to point out that navy blue pants, black shoes and a dark gray t-shirt don’t really go together. Everything matches when it’s pitch black in side your closet and nothing looks wrinkled in the dark.

2. If you are fortunate enough to have power, you should not fix your hair until all of your co-workers also have power. Nothing is more irritating to those of us with flat, straight hair than to sit next to Miss Bouncy Hair who had the advantage of a working hair dryer, curling iron, and hot rollers in a heated bathroom.

3. If your power comes back on but your neighbors has not, it is in very poor taste to turn on all 100,000 of your outdoor Christmas lights. Give it a rest. We are sitting in the dark burning our 1 remaining candle and the glow of your Christmas lights across the street is not giving us a warm, fuzzy feeling.

4. If you have power, don’t ask the have-nots “Did you see the news last night?” or “Did you watch Law and Order? It was the best show ever.” Or “Did you read that article in the Joplin Globe?”

5. Don’t call in to work to say you’re running a few minutes late because the homemade cookies in your oven are not quite done. And don’t come to work without at least 2 dozen of them.

6. You power (P) people stop telling us non-power (NP) people to stay warm – What don’t you understand about “WE DON’T HAVE POWER”. There is no way to stay warm!

7. Don’t be asking “What’s that smell” when you are sitting next to a non-power person. Showers are a luxury that the NP’s do not have unless one of you P’s wants to give us access to yours.