Why the Hell can’t you leave me alone with a nice cuppa? -Chuck Heston.

AC/DC, the great Australian rock band, actually prefers and longs for, a nice cup of tea back stage. It’s true. They’re not boozers, but perhaps surprisingly typical Australians of Scottish immigrant background teetotallers.

Hey, man I heard there was some really hot tea brewin’! Hey, there is? Aah, Ceylon Gold leaf. -A lost beatnik.

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(updated 12/27/07)

Al Gore’s many fans watching the premiere screening of his documentary “A Very Convenient Political Career Saver, an Enormous Money Spinner plus Completely Undeserved Credibility and Kudos”.

Oh, this is just too damn good, sports. While numbers of people having an opinion about anything are meaningless in themselves, 400 major scientists, including defectors from the IPCC, the current Club of Rome Version II, have put out a profoundly evidential Senate Report debunking the global mass hysteria, orthodoxy, phony baloney and giant taxpayer funded gravy train that is er, The Global Warming Express. It’s an absolute delight of Climate Change ‘Fisking’. And about damn time, sports. (See the cut and paste link at the end of the page.) Continue Reading »

After Jimmy Carter, the worlds first Eunuch President, Americans wanted what counts in the end, a man with balls. They voted for Ronald Reagan, All American.

Ronald Reagan is invariably called a “B Grade actor” by people with B grade minds, who are perhaps incapable of conceiving of anything analytically fresh and startling, original or worthwhile.

Reagan started off where he could get paid acting work, like virtually all young actors. And eventually he just found other things he wanted to do more, such as er, politics I believe.

Reagan was one of the featured principles in ‘Kings Row’, nominated for best picture at the 1942 Academy Awards. It starred Anne Sheridan, Robert Cummings and Claude Raines. Claude was a main character in David Lean’s ‘Lawrence of Arabia’. Reagan was a featured principle in ‘Dark Victory’ with Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart and Van Heflin. Ron was a featured lead alongside Errol Flynn and Olivia DeHavilland in 1940’s ‘Santa Fe Trail’, a popular if naff film of the time.
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The only head that can be seen from space.

_____________________________

People still speak today about The Great Bloat of St. Ives. Sadly, I am that person, as no one had ever heard of The Great Bloat of St. Ives, until now. Have you heard of The Bloat of St. Ives? I believe you have.

Oh, The Great Bloat of St. Ives is a wondrous thing, a wondrous thing to behold, is The Great Bloat of St. Ives. People come from far and wide to admire its width and pay homage to The Great Bloat of St. Ives. ‘Oh, show us the way, Great Bloat of St. Ives’, they implore, and the Great Bloat obliges like clockwork, expanding itself to enormous proportions until it reaches a full and majestic bloatedness. Hence the name, The Great Bloat of St. Ives.

Excuse me, but have you heard of The Great Bloat of St.Ives?

The Great Bloat of St. Ives has said many wise and profound things. If The Great Bloat of St. Ives is about anything, wisdom and profound things are what The Bloat of St. Ives will be all about. For example, The Great Bloat of St. Ives has said that,

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Vice President, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.

Yes, if you want to be ready for anything, anything at all, being prepared is one thing I always recommend, even to the deaf and blind. Be prepared, I say, be prepared!

Hence,

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

The Great Bloat of St. Ives is a wondrous source of pure gold, a source of pure gold is he. If you can’t get pure gold from The Great Bloat of St. Ives, I can’t help you. Nay, you are beyond helping. I cannot reach you no matter how much reaching I may do. Such as the following, which is something I live by religiously.

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(Originally posted 11/18/07, updated 12/20/07)

Dear sport, this is Colonel Robert Neville calling from Melbourne Australia.

Yes folks, I’m very happy to link up with some fellow Conservatives, especially Stateside.

Aah, we should NEVER be reticent about declaring our values, as real life is mostly relentlessly Conservative. Try eating, sleeping or repairing a combustion engine ‘radically’. Yep, it’s the fashion of the nihilistic Leftoid to say, “It’s all just opinion”. Notice how the same people don’t go to a Dentist who just has an opinion that he’s a Dentist but without any qualifications?

Yeah, riiight, it’s just my opinion what the speed of light is, that the earth revolves around the Sun and the way a combustion engine works? Er, no. “I’m going to punch you hard in the face but it’s just my opinion that it may hurt. You should just adopt an alternative and equally valid opinion that it won’t. It’s crazy enough to work and good luck!” Continue Reading »

• Articles by Colonel Robert Neville on FHK
• Colonel Robert Neville Always Dresses for Dinner

Sports, Like Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, I laugh at the ridiculous, phony, cant & the murderous. I’m Conservative Libertarian humourist rationalist. Pro Guns, Western Canon, Capitalist Democracy, free market, scientific iconoclast free thinker. Pro Israel Australian patriot business student w/a Japanese family. Alleged musician writer artist actor martial arts etc. I despise bully types. I’m anti Islamist, Che’ the child killer, Leftists, Communism, Gangsters & Dictators etc. Yep, that’ll do. Press the doorbell, and I’ll be straight down.

George Clooney’s brother, Hyram Cleach, has worked hard at totally avoiding success by remaining a consistently unpublished ‘writer’ and playing in anonymous ‘bands’.

Dear sports, if you are perusing this at around 7PM, you’ll find that l’m always dressed for dinner. Ok…, so this photo was taken at 5pm. I can see that. Yes, I’ll change. I mean, I’d dress better than this. Are you always so, er, picky? …Ya worse than my wife. Anyway, you’re my guest, and imagine if you will, that we are seated with other charming, stylish and witty guests at a vast, though intimate, digital dinner party.

The music is very cool; the lights are warm and low, welcoming us all in a beautiful electric glow. The food is good, the wine is ample and everything has worked towards this very moment, this place and to recognising your importance and value. Hey, look, if you don’t like it, you can eat take away in the damn car, fella!

My name’s not Colonel Robert Neville or Madge Williams for that matter, but then neither is yours. My wife is Japanese and I have a small son. How small, we’ll never know. We are ex restaurant owners, as ex as ex can be, and that’s pretty ex, let me tell you. I’m trying to study business, finance and investment etc. I’m an alleged writer, chef, actor and musician, he said laughably, which are all doubtful career choices. In fact they’re definitely doubtful career choices. You should never doubt this.

Yep, we all know what it takes to be a memorable guest and for all the right reasons, so now it’s over to you. Well, actually that’s not true. Man, I’ve been to some terrible dinner parties, with more bubbling tension than if they held the Nuremberg Trials on the edge of a volcano. Well, you’ve ruined everything now. The whole moods gone. I hope ya satisfied.

Sincerely yours, Colonel Robert Neville.

“It isn’t that [Left] Liberals are ignorant, it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so”. Ronald Reagan.

The number of people that Che ‘the child killer’ Guevara, the Dalai ‘Meet my relations the Tibetan Government’ Lama, and Sean ‘I love dumb Commie Dictators if they like me’ Penn, have made free, is zero. The number of people made free by Ronald ‘Soviet Destroyer’ Reagan, Pope ‘The real deal’ John II and Margaret ‘last time the UK was successful’ Thatcher, is almost one billion.

The number of University students who wear Reagan, Thatcher or the Pope non ironically and with pride on their T-shirts, is about zero. The number of University students who’ve worn a child killer called Che Guevara on their T-shirts with pride, is perhaps millions.

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…Jimi struggled through the start of a set, halted and allegedly said “I’ve been dead a long time”. Dramatic or apocryphal, it was maybe in the end just the drugs and the decor. Hendrix was a very hard working, talented person and a generally nice guy, and that rare thing in a celebrity, a patriot. Hendrix being a Screaming Eagle of the 101st Airborne an’ all. Ok, he dug it due in large part for the thrilling experience of parachuting and it also seemed like a good opportunity to his alternatives at the time.

Jimi sometimes startled his peers when he spoke patriotically about his own country and how Communists especially in South East Asia er, sucked, which they did and still do of course. He also disturbed those unfamiliar with such things, when he spoke of the many bigotry’s he had long suffered and not just from white folks, but from almost everyone. People misunderstand the deeply profound art of Jimi’s expression, that was both raw, subtle, tender and furious and draw their own fashionable, often one dimensional conclusions. For Jimi, a love of his country was natural like he was, while sometimes terribly problematic, nuanced and even stark but never stupidly hateful. Thus his art is lasting…the only thing Hendrix really lacked was enough time.

“I’ll always touch you…can’t you hear me, calling you?”

And we’ve been dead a long time to how deluded and bankrupt general perception or the lack thereof, has become.

And Hendrix, like any subject I’ve ever got very interested in, could not be discerned from the MSM at all. You can always feel the fingerprints of the last journalist who went to the file drawer and the one before and before that, all repeating the same photocopied lack of insight and passively received lameness. Real value came entirely from literature and the Net.

“I should have quit you, a long time ago. Now you got me crying, crying on the killing floor”.

And this is almost entirely my feelings regards the MSM, or the Main Stream Media, Hollywood, many celebrities and most of those with a repeated public voice. I feel a similar kinda repulsion with our degraded, convoluted, and often compromised education system. Like the idiot hippie, they have surprisingly similar views often completely unmoored from reality.

The basic equation that is now commonly pushed is that the Western Canon is mostly bad and pretty much entirely responsible for all the ills of the world, when the contrary is the empirical truth. The answer to the ills of the world is the spread of the Western Tradition, nothing else….

To read the rest, please go here.

Teddy Roosevelt was not really ever a PC worm for turning.

Mrs Freakmeister: “Excuse me. Is this room going to the airport?”

Colonel Neville: “No, it’s going to Zimbabwe. You want the 5:PM steam shovel on Platform 9, Platform 9, Platform 9”.

Now sports, a demented, delusional and paranoid old lady asked me this fantastically Goon Show style question, meaning ‘what time exactly, was her flight to the Outer Rings of Venus leaving?’ The disturbing thing is that many allegedly regular people, even outside of institutions and undemented, are nonetheless just as deluded, misinformed and plain mad as Mrs Freakmeister. That’s of ‘the Venus Freakmeisters’.

Mrs Freakmeister: “Oh, is this my room?”

Colonel Neville: “Er, yes. See all the photographs of you on the side table?”
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