“PC” Holiday, Brad Paisley-Style (Video and Lyrics - “Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday”)

(Re-posted and updated from 12/25/07)

Brad Paisley and his puppet friends poke fun at the politically-correct crowd, as they try to put together a PC Holiday song.

 

Lyrics, courtesy of Sing365:

And now the Grand Ole Opry theater proudly presents a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, it’s a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you’re easily offended well that’s okay
It’s a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold December night huddled around a camp fire.

How ‘bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branches…

Why am I getting bleeped again?
Haven’t you heard guys? You can’t say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I can’t say Chri-biip-mas?
No, you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiips and the biiiips and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.

I’ll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me…

Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You can’t say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
If you can say he-biiiip on the last record,
Why can’t I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didn’t make the rules.
Hey listen guys, it’s not that difficult, all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say I’m dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get bleeped?
You’ve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, I’m dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that won’t offend anyone.

Well, it’s a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you’re easily offended well that’s okay

Why do these people have to feel that way? How come they get offended so easily?

It’s a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

I’m just trying to come up with a song here.
Let’s sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill you ready?
I’m ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!

We three kings of or-biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we’ve traveled real far….

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.
I’ve got to get hyped up for this.

We three kings of Asia are….

That sounds like horse cr-biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How ‘bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you can’t say drummer ‘cause that’ll offend real musicians.

How ‘bout little –hahaha- town of Bethlehem.
What’s with all the short jokes?

Hey how ‘bout we do Silent Night?
No, it offends people hard of hearin’ and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?

This happens every year.

Well, it’s a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say,
If you’re easily offended well that’s okay,
It’s a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Ho! ho! ho!
No.
I can’t say ho?
No, you might offend some… women.
So basically, we can’t sing anything?

I think thats a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer, George, it’s more effective.
I think thats a bunch of bull biiiip.
Wait just a dar-biip minute…
No, no, no..
You know what? I don’t care who we offend, I’m gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder, Bill, it’s more effective.
I don’t care who we offend, I’m gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.

We can’t say new; it’ll offend the old folks.
And you better not offend them.

Us…

FHK Christmas Archive

Click here or on the photos to view our Christmas archive from this year and from Christmas 2007. In the archive, you’ll find both fun and serious resources including videos, music, funny stories, touching stories, and news about the attempt to “diversify” Christmas by the political left.

We at Ft. Hard Knox wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a festive holiday season.

Diversity Lane: I’m Dreaming of an Inclusive, Homophobia-free Christmas

I’m Dreaming of an Inclusive, Homophobia-free Christmas…

For more fun, visit www.DiversityLane.com

Snowman Humor

A little seasonal humor found around the web (a big ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ to Ron!)

Santa Humor

A little seasonal humor found around the web (a big ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ to Ron!)

A Soldier’s Silent Night (Music and Lyrics)

This poem was written by Lance Corporal James M. Schmidt in 1986. It was recorded by Father Ted Berndt of Bread of Life Charismatic Episcopal Church in Dousman, Wisconsin, who was alos a Marine and WWII Purple Heart recipient.

His son has a website dedicated for the song: SoldiersSilentNight.com

LISTEN HERE

Lyrics, courtesy of the Tank Master Gunner:

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE,

IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,

AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE,

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,

NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I’D JUST READ?

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN’T HELP WONDER HOW MANY LAY ALONE,

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,

I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY;

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,

“SANTA DON’T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON’T ASK FOR MORE,

MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.”

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,

I COULDN’T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHT’S CHILL.

I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

WHISPERED, “CARRY ON SANTA, IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.”

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.”

Also see: A Soldier’s Christmas

Web 2.0 Christmas Links

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nationwide Tour to Collect Care Packages for Troops Serving Overseas this Holiday Season

Sacramento, CA – Move America Forward, the nation’s largest pro-troop grassroots organization, is conducting a nationwide tour to support sending care packages to the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“With Americans focused on the economic problems facing our country, we have to ensure that our troops in harm’s way are not forgotten during the Christmas and Hanukkah holiday season,” said Melanie Morgan, Chairman of Move America Forward.

Traveling on the tour will be Gold Star Mom Debbie Lee, - whose son Marc Alan Lee was the first Navy S.E.A.L. killed in Iraq. Lee said, “I remember his feelings of pride for serving our country, but also the loneliness troops endure during the holiday season. Instead of celebrating Christmas and Hanukkah with their families, many military men and women will be spending the holidays this year protecting our freedom in far off lands.”

To show the nation’s gratitude and support, Move America Forward’s Debbie Lee and singer/songwriter Diana Nagy (who will perform her hit song “Where Freedom Flies” at each stop) will be on the road encouraging people to send care packages from December 13 – December 19.

Last year, MAF toured the country during the holiday season to collect holiday cards for the troops with the goal of sending 100,000 holiday cards. They collected more than double that amount and hope Americans will show the same support this year by purchasing care packages in which sponsors can write individual notes to show their support. Packages include gourmet Artisan Coffee and Cornerstone Coffee, Oreo Cookies and Jelly Belly jelly beans made famous by President Ronald Reagan.

For those who are not on the tour route, care packages can be purchased online and individual notes can still be included. Orders can be placed by going to the website: www.MoveAmericaForward.com and clicking on the “Coffee and Cookies for our Troops” icon.

ITINERARY

Sacramento, CA on 12/13
Las Vegas, NV on 12/14
Phoenix, AZ on 12/14
El Paso, TX on 12/15
San Antonio, TX on 12/16
Austin, TX on 12/16
Houston, TX on 12/17
Baton Rouge, LA on 12/18
Mobile, AL on 12/18
Tallahassee, FL on 12/19
Jacksonville, FL on 12/19

Above is a picture of Gold Star Mom Debbie Lee giving a television interview during last year’s tour. Debbie, a remarkable, patriotic woman who lost her son, Marc Alan Lee, in the defense of our country will be back on the bus this year.

MAF Chairman, Melanie Morgan concludes:

“During this emotional and busy time of year, we can’t forget about our troops who are still fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Even though the economic news has focused Americans on the home front, we cannot forget that hundreds of thousands of the finest Americans are in combat zones while we’re around the tree with friends and loved ones.”

Right Photoshop: Merry Christimas Citi

Thanks to the billions in bailout monies, Citi, with it’s banking, credit cards, investing, and mor,e is getting a very Merry Christmas.

Univ. of North Carolina bans Christmas trees

This is one man’s opinion about the University of North Carolina banning Christmas trees from all of their libraries on campus because some people were offended by them.

Bring Him Home, Santa (Video and Lyrics)

Updated for Christmas 2008: Because it’s that time of year, again, and we’re still fighting a war.

Original Post 12/21/07: This video was created by (YouTube) JimmyJohns009 for Christmas this year, and was sent to me by my friend, Sandie, in Melbourne. Scroll down for the lyrics. Tear alert.

 

Dear Santa, I need to change my Christmas list
There’s one big thing I missed
You see, my Daddy’s working
far away from here.

And you know, Santa,
I asked for a Barbie doll,
And brand new soccer ball,
But you know, I’d trade it all
For just one gift this year.

(Chorus)

Bring him home, Santa.
Bring him home to Mom and me.
Let us wake up Christmas morning
And find him standing by our tree.

You can pick him up on your way,
He could ride there in your sleigh
Don’t make him spend Christmas all alone,
Bring him home.

And Santa, here’s a picture that I drew
Of him in his dress blues.
Mamma says our country
needs him over there.

And you know, Santa,
This whole year I have been good
I was hoping that you would
Do all you could
To answer her prayer.

(Chorus)

Bring him home, Santa.
Bring him home to Mom and me.
Let us wake up Christmas morning
And find him standing by our tree.

You can pick him up on your way,
He could ride there in your sleigh
Don’t make him spend Christmas all alone,
Bring him home. (Repeats)

Care Packages for the Troops

Hello, it’s Melanie Morgan, Chairman of Move America Forward (the nation’s largest pro-troop organization) and I have a favor to ask of you.

Our group is trying to make sure every single U.S. military servicemember serving in Iraq or Afghanistan receives a care package this holiday season.  We want all of our troops to know how much we love and appreciate them.

I’ve looked over our orders for the past week, and we need many more Americans to sponsor care packages if we’re going to meet this goal.  I don’t believe in failure, especially when it comes to our troops, so I am pleading with you for your help.

Would you please sponsor care packages in your name via the links below, so that we can send a giant shipment of love and support to our troops this Christmas and Hanukkah holiday season?

• Order a Coffee/Cookies Pack for 1 Troop - HERE
• Order a Large Variety Pack for 5 U.S. Troops  - HERE
• Order a Platoon Care Package for 10+ U.S. Troops - HERE
• Order a Battalion Care Package for 20+ U.S. Troops - HERE
• Order a Company Care Package for 50 U.S. Troops - HERE

And you can learn more about our care package operations and what this is all about by watching this short video on Move America Forward’s care packages for the troops program:

 

The Liberal Twelve Days of Christmas (Video and Lyrics)

As fellow blogger, Gribbit, reminded us by e-mail today, Christmas is, in fact, NOT over…there are 12 days to Christmas and today is the third. (Did everyone get their three french hens?) So to honor the third day of Christmas, here is a little video. Yes, the singing is bad, but be sure to watch to the end. (hat-tip, Political Toast)

 

 

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On the twelfth day of Christmas, the liberals gave to me…

Twelve senators failing,
Eleven percent approval,
Ten paychecks burning,
Ninety-thousand freezing,
No more secret ballots,
Six troop-funding cuts,
Hillary’s Woodstock Museuuuuuum,
Four bucks a gallon,
Al Franken ranting,
Two liberal Udalls,
…and a tax hike for every family!

 

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Apollo 8 Christmas Eve Message, 1968 (recording and script)

Apollo 8’s historic broadcast from the moon on Christmas Eve 1968.

Transcript:

William A. Anders: Read more