Scarewaves

I really can’t explain why I don’t like her…it’s just this feeling I’ve had for a while!

 

For more fun, visit www.DiversityLane.com

 

TOTUS Malfunctions inside the White House During Family Dinner…POTUS Manages to Recover

From The Onion:

Obama’s daughter Malia was asking for an allowance raise, but he could not respond right away due to the technical problems.

He froze mid-sentence but was able to recall most of his remarks from memory almost verbatim to the press release sent to reporters before the dinner.

Obama’s Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

 

What’s WALNUT?

A little known fact is that China has an organization that has operated for 63 years funded by the communist Chinese government called WALNUT (acronym has no English translation) that works to address issues of discrimination, affordable housing, a quality education, or better public services.

The only thing that sets the Chinese group apart from our American ACORN is that the Chinese community organization, WALNUT actually seeks to keep the oppressed, oppressed the poor, poor and the stupid, stupid.

Oh… Maybe they’re not so different after all.

My bad.

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For more Buffoonery, visit Democrat=Socialist (DEqualsS.com)

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Laughing Matters: The Santa Recall Vote

The following is from Charles Marshall is a Christian comedian and author. Visit his Web site,

I was five-years-old when I found a tiny baby doll in my Christmas stocking. To make matters worse, Santa had given my sister a toy fire truck that I intuitively knew should’ve been mine. It took years of therapy to get over the trauma.

How could Santa make such a colossal blunder? What else might he be messing up? Was he just flying around, dispensing toys higgly-piggly in heaven only knows whose stockings? A kid in Zambia gets an ice fishing kit? An Eskimo child gets an elephant saddle?

My confidence further eroded as I examined the Santa historical records, otherwise known as Christmas songs. For example, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer states: “Then one foggy Christmas Eve…”

That’s foggy, mind you. Not snowy. Not blizzardy. Just foggy!

“…Santa came to say, ‘Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?’”

I find it astounding that Santa-this amazing problem-solver, who routinely crams toys for all the children of the entire earth into one sleigh and then delivers them in one night and has even figured out a way to make reindeer fly-is stumped by fog. Let a little of it roll in and he’s completely dumbfounded.

“Uh-oh. Looks like we’ve got fog. Never seen this before. Unless I can find a mammal with some sort of luminescent appendage, we’re gonna have to call the whole thing off.”

What about a couple of fog lights, Santa? Shouldn’t the song be: “I got me a couple o’ halogens, now I can make my rounds again!”

To me, it sounds like Santa is just looking for a reason to goof off. Could it be the reason for his sloppy work of late is that he’s ready to retire? It makes me wonder if Santa is still fit for the job. Maybe it’s time to start a Santa recall petition.

But that, of course, begs the question: Who could we get to fill the position?

The obvious replacement is Arnold Schwarzenegger. The extra exposure could really benefit him as he advances toward his ultimate goal of controlling the universe.

My recommendation is that we let Santa stay on with the company but transfer him to the Easter Egg Delivery Division. We could then promote the Easter Bunny to Santa’s present job, just as long as he promises not to needle Santa about it.

The best thing about Christmas, though, is also the most dependable-Jesus. In a world of uncertainty, it helps to know that there is a love that is willing to suffer any hardship for my benefit.

I’ve found that love to be the one constant on this planet, and I see it demonstrated nowhere more clearly than God sending his son on a dangerous rescue mission to save mankind from an eternity spent apart from him.

By the way, regarding the Easter Bunny’s promotion, we’ll have to be sure that everyone keeps their dogs locked up on Christmas Eve. It wouldn’t do for the kids to find Santa Bunny lying in front of the tree on Christmas morning. There isn’t enough therapy in the world to treat that kind of trauma.

© 2009 Charles Marshall

Church Mice

 

The Church Mice are now on Facebook!

 

Grave Situation (How do you know they’re supposed to be zombies? Maybe they’re supposed to be Obama supporters.)

How do you know they’re supposed to be zombies? Maybe they’re supposed to be Obama supporters.

 

For more fun, visit www.DiversityLane.com

 

Afghanistalled

Maybe he’d work up a little more involvement with Afghanistan if they’d put in a really sweet golf course.

 

For more fun, visit www.DiversityLane.com

 

Trick or Treat

Recycled from 10/28/08

With all the talk about “spreading the wealth around” this Halloween cartoon seems particularly appropriate!

 

The Draking Point: Swing Voters

Here’s the latest from Drake Dunaway, of The Draking Point (Conservative Cartoons to Animate the Republic):

 

The Draking Point

 

How to deal with e-Mail overload…

243 new messages! Hmmm…I wonder what would happen if I just marked them all as ‘Read,’ and started over?!

I Can Has Cheezburger

 

Top Idiots Of The Week

RightBias Idiot Awards Nancy Morgan RightBias.com October 25, 2009

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Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan said the H1N1 flu vaccine was developed to kill people. “The Earth can’t take 6.5 billion people. We just can’t feed that many. So what are you going to do? Kill as many as you can.” Let’s toss in the millions of useful idiots who actually believe this yo-yo.

ECO-IDIOTS:

Memo to Andy: How about you consider a vasectomy? That way you can save the earth from melting and cut down on the population of stupid babies at the same time. Talk about a win-win twofer….

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has called on his countrymen to stop singing in the shower to help save water and electricity – they should attempt to wash in less than three minutes and breaking into song distracts them. Which begs the question: How many citizens ruled by this murderous thug have the urge to break into song?

New Zealand’s Victoria University has issued a new study suggesting that dogs and cats, like people, are a plague upon the earth. They say people should have edible pets. All you pet owners out there better start chowing down or you’ll lose your membership in the growing ranks of Mother Earth worshipers. Bow-wow.

Chris Matthews: “The group in this country that most resembles the Taliban is the religious right.” Inquiring minds want to know: Does Matthews have any pets?

In another example of liberals, oops, progressives inventing their own reality, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann claims MSNBC is the “undisputed leader in Cable TV News.” I believe the only one who believes him is George Orwell, and possibly the White House. Sigh.

This just in: On the Jay Leno show last night, Michelle Obama assured the nation that her husband, the President of the United States, if given a choice, would prefer ‘world peace’ over the Chicago White Sox winning the World Series. Whew.

Playing Rough

…and as long as you’re using my ball and my yard, I won’t have any of you playing with that stupid Fox kid. Understand?

 

For more fun, visit www.DiversityLane.com

 

Service Catnician?

The wiring’s done, but I still recommend a surge protector…

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

 

Newsbusted on the GOP’s New Website

This is may be the only time in history that HuffPo and the Media Research Center agree on something – how the RNC still doesn’t get it. Jodi Miller also comments on Balloon Boy, kids asking Obama why people “hate him so much,” polling, Rush Limbaugh, senior stimulus, Mike Huckabee, etc..

 

Mmm, mmm, mind-control

Look, you’re his teacher, you tell me how to turn him off!

 

For more fun, visit www.DiversityLane.com

 

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